Weblog
Wednesday, 30 January 2008
-
I'm bringing Xanga back - drop a comment if you're with me!
Wednesday, 30 August 2006
-
Post 94 : I Can Feel The World Coming Apart...
I can't believe what's going on...everything is ending.
I really have a hard time letting go of things. I'm very good at not vocalizing this. But well I really realized what pigs some people can be. I shouldn't have been so delusional. I can't keep this up anymore. I really have just been broken down by you for the last time. Whether or not you wish to remain innocent/ignorant of the pain you've caused me...go ahead, tell yourself whatever you need to to relieve yourself of the guilt or the blame. I still know that a lot of this is your fault. Some of it is mine, and I am ashamed of myself for believing you were a better person. It must have been all an act. Oh well.
I never want to cry over a stupid boy ever again.
I'm past all these high school dramatics, and I'm starting to think you're never going to grow up. It's over. I don't care if this works out for you or makes you happy. I just hope it will work out for ME and that it will make ME happy. Fuck you. Honestly. Fuck you.
Sunday, 20 August 2006
-
Post 93 : Doomf.
How have you been Xangaland? I semi-perma moved to Livejournal. I guess. I don't know.
Summer is almost gone, things have been crazy, chill, surprising...all sorts of things all at the same time.
But all of it is temporary and really hasn't made enough of an impact on me. I don't know if I'd improved myself or changed myself or accomplished much of anything these last few months off. I have been drawing a hell of a lot more lately and have been doing a lot more experimenting with this and that art-wise. It makes me rather happy.
Lots of stuff. Too much for me to even wrap my head around right now. Even just today, its all of a sudden just...overwhelming.
Oh and the lovelife? Yes, as stressing as ever. I believe I am at the highest terror alert in that department right now. Boys give me ulcers.
Thursday, 22 June 2006
-
Post 92 : Evolutionary Combat
Survival of the fittest. You know, we are growing up in a really strange time. I don't really like the way we are headed. I think if we go back maybe ten years and start over again because the 2000's just aren't all I figure it would be cracked up to be.
Everybody is so...just so unbarable. This is why we steal everything from the past, because we all seem to be unsatisfied with what's available to us now. It's like we're not going anywhere at all and we're just wasting so much time. It really sucks.
I'm not cut out for any of this stuff, the beliefs of the world, the way people my age act. I can't. I can't do any of it. I am going to be one of these animals that die out because they are unable to adapt to their surroundings properly.
I can't assimilate or adapt. I can only be separate and lost and bewildered. This is going to be my downfall. I don't feel like I want to change myself to make any of it better either. So I'm going to stay the way I am. Much akin to the attitude of this fucking era I am a part of. And that's why it will fail. And I feel something terrible is going to happen soon and everyone is going to get bit in the ass over what a terrible job we've done existing.
But me especially, will be one of those who will be the first to go.
* It's okay if you don't know what I'm talking about, I don't know either.
Thursday, 15 June 2006
-
Post 91 : Declaration
As long as you still want me, I'll be here for you.
I promise you, I won't abandon.
I really do mean that. I've decided.
Anyhow. My glasses are broken, and I'm currently a big squinting loser. I went for an eye exam yesterday and an order for new glasses as been made. Since I was 12, I've had righteously emo thick framed glasses, and for the first time...I've finally picked a slightly different frame. It was only because I'm used to my frames being slightly oval-ish, but the only black thick framed glasses they had were rectangular and it was pissing me off. So these are rectangular glasses, and they have no frame on the bottom. They aren't a HUGE difference, probably. But to me they are...
So anyway, when my new glasses come in, I'll take pictures because I'm a cam whore...and I haven't had new pictures in a thousand years or something. Oh and because I'm a cam whore. Also, the optometrist lady offered me a job application 'cause I told her I was being a total hobo this summer. Yay? Maybe? So maybe Michelle is gonna be a technician at LensCrafters. Keep your fingers crossed. I need a job so I can move the fuck out of this house. Haha.
Neutral Milk Hotel are keeping me company this otherwise quiet and sunny morning. Sweet.
PS : Some people have mentioned to me that the numbering on my entries isn't correct. Actually, it is. The numbers that are missing are PRIVATE entries. These are entries 62 and 88. Sorry, you can't read them. Nyah nyah nyah.
